Lorraine's Fan Fiction Links

Water For Elephants  Oneshot
that kiwi chick

The tale continues. Rosie the elephant is the focus of this story.  Jacob is caring for her, interpreting her actions and enjoying his 'escape' from the rest home.  Marlena is heavily pregnant.  There is a whisper of a presence of August, a shiver.  Life has become bearable for the central characters.  Rosie is depicted as a contented, playful animal, for which she did not have opportunity to demonstrate in her circus life.

I feel the author could have set the scene in an introductory paragraph, giving the actions a time or place.  The back story could be introduced by simply bringing in a character thought or word.  A day in the life of is a great way to write, given that the reader knows where he or she is.  A look into the baby's forthcoming birth would give further poignancy.  Maybe Jacob would ask Marlene what she thinks will be the baby's name?  By answering Rosie if a girl or Ross if a boy, there we would have the central action of Water for Elephants brought forward.  Jacob's happiness at 90 would be complete.

Shithappenz 

The blog opens with a series of conversations or posts, retrospective in time.  The tiredness and writer's block experienced through the days from the 17th July to 25th July read as natural and true.  There are comments of life as well, such as 'If life gives you lemons, make apple juice.' ...but you need to be smart to work that one out, the writer asserts.

Further down the is poem Falling.  We learn that the blogger is Jacob.  It is written in the first person, giving an interpretation on life's experiences to a third person, you.  Falling is metaphoric, like falling from grace, not falling flat on one's face literally.  No broken bones, but a broken spirit; no kiss it better but a loss of faith in humanity.  With 'no-one waiting at the end of the line' the poet lays bare the consequences of life's choices  and paths.   'It's the way the world works.  Too much power and too many crooks.'  There are no specific behaviours mentioned, the falling is the experience not only for one, but through to all.  The rescue remedy of love after 'we have hit this point', comes in the final lines.  Rhyme is used - a pattern I observe is in the first lines: a a b a b b c c d d.

I like this poem.  For me it speaks of the feeling experienced when we do fall after an event causing emotional pain comes into our lives.  There is no age limit with Falling, and for the exposition alone, this poem could be cherished.  For me, I feel the poet has expressed his feelings and taken them to a new level for others to know.  The poem could be cynical, in that human behaviour loves power and possessions ('crook") but if you do not want to Fall, do not go there.  There is the heartfelt cry of the one left alone, lost, in free fall. The poet emphasises and opens a window of love to enable the sufferer to once again 'stand tall'.

Lacie in Wonderland 
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The First Post Alice
Taking place in the time prior to classes start, Lacie interacts with four males and her mother. In the home, she refuses the offer from her mother, of a sixteenth birthday party as well as most of the prepared breakfast. Carrying her copy of Alice in Wonderland (which she is attempting to read) to the school, she gets herself seated to be interrupted by Blaise, Peter and Shawn. They all comment on the book and give varying explanations, like Lacie is an anagram of Alice, and that the school's forthcoming play is Alice in Wonderland and she would make the star part. Each boy is not encouraged in his offer of friendship. Her sighting of Jack, whom she loves, before entering her classroom, excites her and she would reach out to him, except for his girlfriend's appearance, which puts an immediate stop to her hopes.

I interpret this story, in the abstract, as one of repeated rejections until Lacie's desire is before her, only to have the experience of rejection herself. The time line is short, a wonderland of lost opportunity, dashed hopes and the changes these bring. Using the grin by Blaise as one similar to the Cheshire cat in Alice's story and with the presence of the actual book throughout, Lacie's conversations and desire to keep reading, keep the book as the connecting thread.

The Second Post The Night
Beginning with rhyme, The Night is unfinished. It could become an Alice in Wonderland character, with Lacie coming in for more experiences to relate. The poem could be set out line by line for greater emphasis. It is an intriguing beginning.



Humpty Dumpty Tales  Philosophy
Coke-48-Kenshin

The nursery rhymes, set in their language and style, are used in this well written story, to give the characters other reasons behind the original scene to act as they do.  Humpty Dumpty always falls off the wall.  Jack Be Nimble, who in the rhyme jumps over the candlestick, jumps over Humpty, causing him to fall off again and again, every day.  The events are told by Humpty, and circle back to the next day, repeating the actions and words all over again.  Placing motive behind Humpty Dumpty's actions on and off the wall, describing him with blue eyes, a face, arms, legs and hair, creates the philosophy and reason for the event. Time is shown by the day, each day exactly the same. Humpty's fall, before all the King's Horses and all the King's men, when the clouds stop, brings the story in to the living rhyme, which is the writer's idea. The rhymes have the life, the characters play their prescribed parts. 


It is fun to read about Little Bo Peep and Little Boy Blue, to have Hey Diddle Diddle explained, and to realise Mother Goose must not know.  Looking in to the rhymes for the one day gives the story colour, life and meaning for the reader to enjoy.  We can sympathise with Humpty, another day in the life of; enjoy the energy of Jack, who does not seem to miss his candle stick at all; understand why farming practices goes awry under Little Bo Peep and Little Boy Blue, and look again at a dog and a cat cuddling up, not laughing or running away with the spoon.  It is because we know these Nursery Rhymes that this story is humourous and offers other interpretations for them, as living entities.



Cats and Dogs
by Monsterhigh Rox


Cats and Dogs is highlighted as a Murder Mystery, with a Romantic twist.  It reads as a Romantic story, with a murder to solve.  Colin is a werewolf in human form, Ruth a cat as a human.  The mix of these opposites, placed in London, Ontario, not UK, gives the dialogues tension.  The inner thoughts of the characters as they travel together and stay with Colin's family as the romance develops are well written and give a greater meaning for the reader as these characters find solutions to their problems and the solution to the murder.  Ruth meeting Colin's family has the inner dialogue that is recognisable in similar situations.  The few paragraphs given to the stabbing and solving of the victim's murder are quick and to the point, as is the romantic interplay.

Crime genre follows prescribed patterns, deductively.  So does Romance.  Intertwining the two is not unusual.  We do see relationships develop between the detectives as a part of the teamwork of crime solving.  With this story, there is a need for more cohesion.  The reader loses time sequence and has to assume where the plot is at.  Conversation is used throughout to convey the messages, making the reader hesitate until it is known where and what is going on.  The plot comes with two climaxes, one with Ruth and Colin in bed, the other with the shooting of Colin by the suspect.  Intuition by Colin's aunt gives direction with the romance, the murder and the forthcoming baby.  Time spent by the writer on time, setting development and descriptions,  with a slower pace would be easier on the reader.

Lorraine's Fan Fiction

The House at Pooh Corner
Chapter X Title exclude the words 'and we leave them there.'
Final paragraph: end with 'So they went off together.'

Chapter X1

In which Pooh has a Feeling That Something Will Happen

Pooh said to himself as he got up in the morning that Something Will Happen.

"Maybe not today. It is a happy morning. But I think. Well, no, I am not sure. Perhaps I'll make sure."

He went over to his cupboard, got up on his stool and looked deep inside. Yes, his Honey Pots were there, not whispering to each other, not even saying Good Morning. They were waiting, he decided. Waiting until after 11 o'clock, maybe a quarter past.

As it was breakfast time, and Pooh had That Feeling, he decided to see Piglet. Piglet will know about breakfast. So off he went to Piglet's house.

Piglet was feeling peckish. He had decided to visit Kanga and try to see if Roo did not want any breakfast. Then Kanga would give it to him, whatever it was. When Pooh saw the No Body was at home, he sat and thought about the feeling.

"Something is Going to Happen. Maybe it is a hungry song. A no Breakfast song. A no Piglet song.  Here is what he sung, waiting for Piglet to come:


Where is Piglet? Where is breakfast?
There's no-one here.
I must be the last.

 I am so hungry. I am waiting.
There is a Feeling.
Something is grating.

 Happenings must happen
To me and to us
Something is flapping.

"Oh! it's you Piglet. Why are your ears flapping?"

"Because I have not had any breakfast, Pooh. Have you?"

Pooh did not think so because his stomach was telling him another story.

"We'll go and see Rabbit, Piglet. That's what we'll do. Because Rabbit knows."

What Rabbit knew, Piglet wasn't sure. His ears stopped flapping, he mader them sit up straight to look very Tall and Important. it was Important to look Tall and Important when you went to see Rabbit.

They found Rabbit making a munching noise.

"I'm eating my breakfast. It is too early to see me, even though I am sitting outside in the sun," said Rabbit.

"What's your breakfast, Rabbit?" asked Pooh.

"Carrots today Pooh. Lettuce tomorrow, Turnips on Friday. I keep to a Routine."

Piglet thought that a routine must be very exciting. Knowing what to do is an Important Aspect of Life. He decided to make one immediately.

"Rabbit. can you make me one too?" he asked.

Rabbit had his mouth full and the crunching noise was louder. Piglet waited and waited and waited.

"What is it you want, Piglet?" He bent down to Piglet.

This was too embarrassing. Piglet stood on tip toe, with his ears still straight up.

"A routine, Rabbit. I'd love a routine too."

Further thought about routines was interrupted by Pooh, who suddenly remembered about the Feeling That Something is Going to Happen. Even with No Breakfast, he grabbed Piglet's hand and said in a very loud voice that he had a Feeling. No it was not a Breakfast Feeling, for Rabbit was sure that's what it was.

"Then it must be a honey feeling, Pooh."

Pooh knew about the honey feeling and that was what this was not.

"I know," he said. "It's about Christopher Robin, who had Gone Away. And he will Grow Up and Up and Up and won't even see us."

"Not see us?" Rabbit put his ears up too. "Of course he will see us."

Piglet's ears fell down.

"Pooh, will we grow Up and Up and Up too?" he asked.

"That's another reason we came to see Rabbit, who knows Important Things, and nearly everything else," he said.

Rabbit felt that this was the Best Morning Ever. He can now take total control and take Pooh and Piglet to the enchanted forest, where Owl was, and Eeyore was and maybe Kanga and Roo would be playing, and Tigger would play in and out of the shadows. He offered Pooh a special Honey Cake he had been saving for such an occasion, and for Piglet a Milo, made of real milk that he would have really liked.

Everyone sat in a circle in the middle of the forest. Even all Rabbit's friends and Relations had come.

Rabbit took charge and said that Pooh had a Feeling and saw Piglet and they came to see him.

Now, Pooh, tell everyone what it is."

Pooh said his feeling was about Christopher Robin, who had gone away. Now he would grow Up and Up and Up and not see us anymore. No-one said anything. The trees let their leaves fill the silence and the branches bounced in the breeze.

Tigger stood up and coughed. "We will grow up too, (cough, cough)."

Eeyore chewed on his Thistle and chewed it again. He liked to taste it again and again.

Then he said, "Everyone, listen to Me. I know about this. Once I had a Grown Up look at me. I can say, with authority, with authority, Rabbit, that when Christopher Robin grows Up, like that, he will see us."

Rabbit had to assert himself. "Thank you Eeyore. We needed to know that. Now we can leave Pooh's Feeling because we know Something Will Happen and we will all see it."

Piglet whispered to Pooh.

"Pooh, this is an enchanted forest and we can go on Forever and Forever."

"Thank you Piglet. I shall go home. It is nearly eleven and when I get there I will look in my Honey cupboard. I did that once today and now I need to do it again.

And so it was, that Christopher Robin Grew Up. Pooh and Piglet and Everyone else would go on and on forever.

Ethan's 5 Fan Fiction Links

After the Storm

This fan fiction is based on the film Battle: Los Angeles. It is about two different characters and their perspective of what is about to happen in the invasion of Los Angeles. This story is yet to be finished and it ended right before the invasion began. The author of this fan fiction had put a lot of detail into describing the characters and their actions as well as using good dialogue to show what the characters are saying to each other. The story is also very well written and the description of each scene and character makes it easy to understand and visualize. 

 

Tina and the Mask

This piece of fan fiction has been based on the film ‘The Mask’. The author has created a scene to what she thinks life would be like for the characters after the ending in the film. In this scene the character Tina is wondering what life would be like if Stanley would often wear the mask. It had been a while since he had used the mask and it had slowly been lost within his draws. While Stanley is in the shower Tina goes searching for the mask, once she finds it we looks at herself in a mirror and wonders what she would look like while wearing the mask. As she is trying on the mask she is interrupted by Stanley who has finished his shower, so she quickly puts the mask in her purse and leaves to work. The author of this fan fiction has put a lot of detail into her story and given a very strong description of what is happening. Although this is a very good story, it could probably have been extended slightly longer as it seems to end very fast.

Searching for Solace

This fan fiction is based after the film ‘Fast and the furious: Tokyo Drift’ and what it would have been like if the character Han were to survive the car accident and go into hiding from the yakuza in Barcelona. The author of this fan fiction has used a lot of detail in describing the characters and their actions. This is a very good story however the story can get a bit confusing with the flashbacks and the structure that has been used and it is quite a short story. Overall i did not really enjoy this fanfiction simply because of its structure. The storyline had good potential but was definatly let down by the structure in which it was presented. It would probally be better suited in a visual (film) text rather than writing.

A New Beginning

This Fan fiction is a prequel to the transformers films and is about how Optimus Prime was discovered. In this story, Iron hide and his team of Autobots are searching through the rubble of a “Youth Sector” that had been destroyed by Decepticons. It is here where they find the only survivor of the attack who was a youngling (child) named Optimus. At first this story was a bit jumpy as the characters were being introduced but nearer to the end the focus was put onto a few main characters. The dialogue was also good as it replicated the characters accent in the films and emphasised key features that the characters portrayed in the film. 

The Curse

This fan fiction story was based on the film “The Grudge”. This story is about a character named Rose and her friends discovering who he neighbors really are. They were invited for a sleep over and they accepted not knowing that the neighbors were evil spirits trying to kill them. This story started out very good with good detail and dialogue, but nearer to the end of the story it seemed to become rushed and the author ended the story quite quick.

Tom's 5 fan fiction links..

I know that not all of these stories if any are everyone's cup of tea, but I felt the need so enlighten me..

The Road That You Go starts off with the protagonist stuck in the rain and cursing themselves for not having an umbrella.  They are waiting for a train to arrive and I'm guessing it is late.  Whilst waiting, they are approached by a man who them attempts to mug them (you never actually find out names or gender of the lead character) and they are inadvertently shot in the process.  The story or chapter as it is coined to be ends with their life flashing before them and lamenting all their aspirations that they will never achieve since being shot in the chest equals a fairly quick death.

This story didn't get off to a good start so I didn't hold high hopes for it.  The author is so focused on being descriptive that they seem to have forgotten about the reader with far too many filler words and almost no story line.  It's amplified by the fact that I'm a Tolkien fan and have read the LOTR story half a dozen times and seen all the movies, but there is no connection to any of the tales I have read, nor characters or setting so it leaves me wondering why it is on a LOTR fan fiction site besides by accident.

The Logic of Vulcan Emotion starts based around a potential major socio-political revolution in Vulcan society that started with a small movement dedicated to reintroducing the concept of visible emotion in Vulcan culture.  As such the Vulcan High Council outlawed and an appeal was made with the Federation to have the ruling overturned, which, in itself had the power potentially to see Vulcan withdraw permanently from the Federation in protest.  Representatives from both parties are to be escorted on the USS Enterprise to Earth to attend the appeal hearing and they are charged by Starfleet to initiate a negotiation process in order to try and prevent the event from occurring.  Delegates from both parties are partnered up with members of the crew in order to learn about them and try to get then to agree to meet and it looks like they are set to fail up until near the end when all parties agree to meet and the ban is lifted after one of the Vulcan High Council delegates moves to the other side of the table.  At this point you could say that an agreement was reached although not entirely voluntarily and everyone is returned to Vulcan to go about their business.  Well, that's the basics of it anyway.

This is an often funny political scenario cooked up by the author who is evidently a serious Star Trek fan as their dialogues give you the impression almost of watching an episode although there are major differences between this and anything I used to watch.  The author also uses Russia as a fictional member of the EU as an illustration within the story that could be seen as a bit of a faux pas but works well anyway considering this is a work of fiction based on another.  Another point of interest is that Capt. Kirk doesn't get any action so it's definitely fan based.  All told, this is reasonably well constructed and despite a couple of spelling and grammatical errors (nothing major) made for an enjoyable read for me or anyone with an open mind toward sci-fi.

The Meaning of Life is not really a story as such but is more of a monologue based around the song to Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life" as well as a Pokemon character.  So in a nutshell, you have the lyrics to the song broken down into verses and after each verse is the protagonists theories, interpretations and questions but mostly questions.  This appears to fuel some sort of existential crisis however, towards the end they appear to come to terms with themselves and the world around them.  For example this is the opening verse:

"Why are we here? What's life all about?

Is God really real, or is there some doubt?"

Then:

"As I float here in my golden abyss, looking upon the world in which I created so long ago, I wonder why I did. What compelled me to create all of this? I hatched into nothingness and from nothingness made this. I don't know why I did it.  Why I? Of all, I was the first. Sometimes I wonder, if there is truly a point to it all?"

Strangely, despite numerous grammatical errors the story is conveyed very well.  At least it was the second time I read it.  As mentioned before the protagonist is debating with themselves about the meaning of their existence interspersed with the verses and has it's own flow that is almost logical.  For that reason I believe that this story works although that is a matter of opinion.

One Moment Among Many is a brief scene using the characters out of Final Fantasy VII - Advent Children.  It outlines a sleepless night one of the lead characters (Cloud) where he winds up sitting in one of his companions bedrooms (Tifa) and falls asleep in the chair.  In the morning she wakes up and finds him there and after wondering why he's there, he wakes up and they go about their business before finishing with a tender kiss.

As mentioned before, "A Moment Among Many" is a brief excerpt possibly based around a scene in the Final Fantasy VII - Advent Children movie.  Besides being a little disturbing with the whole sitting in the chair watching someone sleep for no apparent reason, it really was a bit on the short side as nothing really develops within the story.  A large portion of the text describes the characters and there is little or no dialogue which really makes it difficult to analyse properly.  It would be much better if it was beefed up a little or ran into a new chapter or cross referenced into another scene or something to give it a bit of depth that at this stage seems lacking in my eyes at least.

Playing House starts off like any of the usual House episodes with a patient that is dying or in a critical condition with no apparent cause.  The first chapter introduces all the characters and outlines the story which in this case is a toxin or drug that's been slipped into "sealed" beers by a high school crack dealer.  House is investigating at the school and meets Chris who unknowingly witnessed the first "attack" as such and winds up taking matters into her own hands without his knowledge.  After confronting Tommy the boy behind it, she picks up a sample of the beer and the chapter ends with House collecting her from the house and taking her to the hospital.  The next two chapters mainly develop a kind of friendship between Chris and Rachel, the first girl to be drugged.  House solves the mystery somewhere in the background (it's not written into the script) and in the final chapter Chris tries hinting to House to ask her out and fails.  The story then ends on the two girls volunteering at the hospital.

It's debatable whether or not this story works as half the point of House is him heckling his minions into diagnosing patients usually by process of elimination.  In this case but the author has focussed more on the Chris girl and her story with House almost playing a cameo in his own feature.  I have heard of some episodes that are like that but they are few and far between as although House directs from where ever he happens to feel like being, he still keeps a close watch on his students or whatever.  One can only assume it to be deliberate as this is fan fiction, I just happen to be somewhat of a traditionalist when it comes to things like this.  If I have any real gripes about it, it would be that you never find out what the cause of the problem was apart from a vague reference to a drug or toxin in the beer but nothing in specific so the author could have researched their idea a little more thoroughly but, overall the story is logical and reasonably well written.

Alysse's Fanfiction Links

My Sister's Keeper

This fan fiction is based on the novel 'My Sister's Keeper'. Originally this was a novel but recently has been made into a movie. However both with the same storyline.
This story is based on the unfortunate event of an elder sister falling sick with Leukemia. In the parents hopes of helping her fight for her life the idea of a second child is brought up to question. Anna is born to be the donor for her sister. The story then goes on in the fight for Anna to have legal rights to her own body.
I found this fan fiction not to be one of the better ones I have read. It was a sudden into, introducing the death of Anna yet it was hard to follow. I found that jumping straight into something very unexpected at the beginning left me with high hopes throughout the rest of the Fan Fiction that were not fufilled.



Mean Girls

Mean Girls. One of my favourite movies. This fan fiction is based on the Comedy Mean girls. Set in a high school setting Cady Heron moves to a new school making a good impression with "the plastics". Everything you would expect from a stereotype influenced movie. Building drama until Cady falls for head "plastic" Regina's ex Boyfriend Arron Samuels.
Although Mean Girls is a favourite of mine, I did not enjoy reading this fan fiction not because the way it had been written, or the language that had been used. The only reason I did not enjoy this fan fiction was that I did not like the outcome and the idea in which the story had been changed.

Snow White

A classic Disney story were jealously has taken over. Snow Whites evil stepmother has sentenced Snow White to be killed as she is not the "Fairest one of all" but Snow White is.
In Snow Whites attempts to run away, she finds herself hiding in the home of 7 Dwarfs. But with the poison of an apple, spelled by her evil stepmother. Snow Whites only attempts of waking from her death is the kiss of ones true love, a Prince.
I like in this fan fiction the main character has been introduced in visual detail. It then brings in Buffy. Therefore this fan fiction is a combination of Snow White and Buffy. A different take on both, both from different genres yet they fit well together. Almost creating a sense of humor.

The Lion King

Another Disney classic. In this instance this fan fiction is based on the Lion King. The Lion King is about a young Lion cub named Simba who has been lead to believe that he is responsible for his farther's death. Simba runs away only to find that there is life beyond the Pridelands leaving behind his duty as the future King.
This piece of fan fiction again has a different approach and the author has introduce a foreign character he/she has made up. I like this piece of fan fiction primarily because it sets the scene though the choice of language that has been chosen. I enjoyed reading this piece of writing because you can visualise where the story is taking place. Also it finishes with a to be continued... which leaves the reader waiting for more.


Cruel Intentions 

This fan fiction is based on the movie Cruel Intentions. This story is about a bet with ' Cruel Intentions' which accidently falls into an unexpected love story. The bet is between stepbrother Sebastian and stepsister Kathryn that Sebastian cannot make virgin Annette fall in love with him and get her into bed. In a twist of events Sebastian begins to fall in love with Annette leaving an unexpected ending.
This Fan Fiction is sort, sharp and sweet. The author had stated at the start that he/she did not like how the original movie had ended. So with this in mind a short fan fiction has been written here with the ending they had in mind. I liked this Fan Fiction because only the ending has been changed making the reader assume that the beginning of the story has not been altered. 

Tom's fanfiction draft

2009

There's this strange recurrent daydream or vision that I simply can't shake but at the same time, it's unclear exactly what I see.  It usually happens about the time I'm near the house where next to where I grew up.  As if I had lived there before, I keep getting this feeling, a strange déjà vu, like a scene from a memory draws me closer.

Working with me is my therapist who often listens to these visions and deja vu.  He's recommended hypnotherapy to see if we can determine the root cause of all this, so here we are today where I am about to embark on my regression.  “Close your eyes and try to relax, take a deep breath and let it out slowly.  Concentrate on your breathing and imagine a brilliant white light above you, focussing on this light as it flows through your body.  Allow yourself to drift off as you fall deeper and deeper into a more relaxed state of mind..”

1929

Like walking into a dream, I step into the light and almost immediately I recognise the neighbourhood I grew up in.  Everything is much older here and there's many unfamiliar sights to take in.  Walking up to a newsstand, I look at a paper to get my bearings and almost choke seeing the date.  What I thought was a dream could be a memory, a segment of my past brought forward.  Could it really? Rushing back to the house, I peer through the window to see a woman and a man talking & laughing together before disappearing upstairs so I move on before I'm likely to be reported, but, at least now I have the first piece of the puzzle.  They look vaguely familiar somehow but I need to find out more.

Later in the day, a man arrives at the house.  I'd been doing a little research and reconnaissance about the area and headed back to see what else happens. This time it's a different man, he appears to be the man of the house and while cordial, almost friendly, I could see there was a clear tension between the two.  Was he even aware of the affair? If so, had it ever been mentioned? The scenario before me versus what went on previously has left little to the imagination.  

2009

Coming back to the present with more questions than answers, I to go back to the house to see what I find.  As I walk up the path there's a sudden chill from out of nowhere and I pull my jacket a little closer.  The house has been empty for some time, but was easy to get into.  Moving up the stairs I find the master bedroom, the atmosphere is still eerie but curiosity now had the better of me and I wanted answers badly.  Looking in the mirror brings the biggest shock of them all.  Instead of seeing my own reflection, I see husband staring back at me, then the sudden door closing and a man’s voice shakes me from my vision.  "I wondered when you might show up again." He said.

It's the old man who's lived over the road.  He invited me back to his house and there told me a story about a couple who lived in the old house ages back when he was very young, namely a young woman married to a high profile a lawyer who was an alcoholic and a gambler.  So it was rumoured anyway, they looked the picturesque couple to everyone they met.  However, behind the scenes there was almost constant turmoil and she was indeed having an affair with his brother who was a local cop.  One day there was report of an apparent murder-suicide as the woman met with her husband in an out-of-the-way alley.  The only witness was a local cop, who happened to be the man she'd been having an affair with (I knew from the description matching the first man I had seen at the house).  Since there was a note, while widely talked about in the community, it was generally accepted at face value although it was never totally clear who shot who first or why.  With some pieces falling into place and fresh leads to take up, I had to go back, so I did.

1929

This time I walk into a new scene.  It's dark and while there is a lot happening around me, what catches my eye is a couple disappearing off to one side.  Following them, I stand in the shadows watching as they chat quietly and embrace.  Now I start to understand what is happening but before they are are finished, there's a shot from out of the shadows on the other side.  The woman screams and the man (me) falls to the ground. There's more shots fired and she falls next to him and a man walks out with gloved hands and places the gun in my hands with a note in my pocket.  Horrified at the events unfolding in front of me, I realise I've just witnessed my own murder and now the image in the mirror makes sense.  How could I have not seen this? The man I trusted the most, my own brother killed me and my wife after evidently realising that she was never going to leave me for him and now I'm reliving this as a new incarnation.

1929 & 2009

I'm shocked at the revelation, but maybe I can learn to live with the memories that reside within me.  At least now I understand what has happened / is still happening.  As I walk away I start to hear music, the tune is old but also very familiar and I hear a voice speaking to me.  "Open your eyes Nicholas".  I open my eyes back in the suite.  "What?!" Across the room, I see my therapist with a glass of whiskey in one hand and a gun in the other..

Ethan's fan fiction draft

Battle: New York.

The day they came.

June 26, 2011 5:45am

Everything in New York was as normal, the streets outside are dark and empty awaiting the sunrise. Apartment lights turning on one by one a few minutes apart. This was a normal day for Greg, waking up at 5:45 am which is 10 minutes longer than he should have slept. He is not a very good morning person and the simplest of tasks seemed to be almost impossible until he had coffee running through his veins. Mornings were always rushed as he got ready in order to get to work on time. He worked at the “The New York Times” newspaper company as an editor which was slowly draining the life out of him every day he worked there. It was hardly a job he enjoyed but he only worked there to cover his bills while he was writing a novel. As time was quickly passing by, Greg was constantly in a rush to get out the door before 6:45am in order to beat the rush hour traffic. As he left his apartment he was still finishing off his toast and had not completed buttoning up his shirt.

Once he made it out of the apartment block and onto the street, he hailed down a taxi with a high pitched whistle and jumped in. It was not long before they had reached a traffic jam and the roads had come to a halt, so Greg paid his cab fare and jumped out and started walking down the road. While he was walking down Times Square he was noticing all the people walking past that seemed to be in the same situation that he was. All looked as though they were depressed and life was not getting any better for them. As Greg made his way down the street past the sad and depressed faces to his work, he noticed a ‘Breaking News’ report being played in a Television shop window. He didn’t take much notice of it until he noticed crowds start gathering around. Trying to look past the numerous heads he gets a slight glimpse of the screen and notices ‘The U.S Bank Tower’ in downtown Los Angeles had been hit by what was believed to be a large Meteorite.  A minute later, reports were coming in that the whole west coast had been hit by a meteor shower. Buildings all across the California state had struck by these meteors. For a moment he thought it was just an advertisement for a film to be released, everything seemed so surreal, he could not imagine something this extreme ever happening. But before he could finish his train of thought, there was a large BANG which sounded like a bomb blast. He looked down the street to notice the road split in half and a trail of destruction leading to the bottom floor of an office building.

Adrenaline was rushing through Greg’s body as he rushed through the stampede of people towards the blast area; He just had to see what had happened with his own eyes. As he got closer and closer he became to notice what had happened and how much damage it had caused. It was one of the Meteors, like in Los Angeles, he thought to himself. The damage to the building was immense, people of all ethnicities leaving the building looked like ghosts as they were covered in white concrete dust and coughing their lungs out. Burning paper documents float down from the sky and litters the street. Moments later four more meteors flew overhead, past the high buildings, leaving a trails or smoke and flames.  Seconds later a slight tremor rips through the ground, then another and another. All of a sudden there was a loud screeching noise (like metal rubbing against metal), then another small explosion out the side of the building where the first meteor had hit and out of the dust appeared a large machine like object. This object was nothing Greg has ever seen before and it certainly did not look very human like. As it slower emerged out of the dust, its detail became a lot clearer.  It was completely made out of mechanical metal parts that seemed to be working in some way and what looked like a short tank barrel at the front. It was a bit bigger than a small truck and seemed to be floating above ground. Suddenly it fired, once, and then twice, destroying vehicles and hurling them down the street. By this time widespread panic had spread and people including Greg were running for their lives. The sound of a few more shots rip through the air, explosions are happening all down the street destroying cars, buildings and even killing people. The screams of the people are becoming deafening as people fear death. Suddenly there is a blast, the sound of another gunshot but this time it was coming from the direction everyone was running to. The people running in the street pause for a second as they register what is happening. It was the U.S army and they had fired at the unknown target. Their shot echoed through the streets and was a direct hit on the target. The unknown target was badly damaged but not destroyed. It started to lose control smashing into anything in its path and coming to a halt after crashing into a bus.

As the sounds of screams had turned into cheers the crowds had stopped running and as everything seem like it was going in the our favor there was another blast, but this time it was not coming from the tank, but another alien vehicle two blocks down. The shot completely destroyed the tank spreading shrapnel in every direction. There was a moment of silence before Greg and the crowds of people began running for their lives again. This invasion was far from over…..

Alysse's fanfiction draft

The Lovely Bones, Fan Fiction. 

Footsteps silently crept behind me. 

I turned around suddenly but no one was there.

The silent footsteps began to feel closer and closer. I started running. 

Her first smile, first laugh. Her first step and her first fall. Her first words made me laugh as I remembered. Every memory and every moment I spent with her were flooding back as if we were re-living every memory.

I woke up in a daze. It was dark. Cold. Damp.

Almost silent, but a slight whistle of wind and a faint whimper of breath. 

"Whose there? Where am I?" 

No response but a deep inhaling sigh, and a loud creek of an old wooden door.

I asked again. Again, until a match was struck and a flicker of light spread from the top of a ladder to be in what looked like a cave? 

"Hello?" 

Had who ever that was following me finally caught up?

Slowly I moved, I stood up and looked into the direction of where the flicker of light had come from. I froze. There where 2 eyes steering back into mine. 

Gently a dark silhouette emerged from the top of the ladder. Smiling he carefully climbed down into the cave I thought I must be in. He gently walked over to me as if I was fragile. He laughed. 

Feeling isolated and lonely I asked myself again, "Who is this man?"

As he laughed, he became closer until I could see every detail on his pulsating face. He looked pleased with himself. Succeeded. 

I backed off slowly.

He asked my name. I did not reply.

"Mr Harvey it is, I live across the street from you."

"Your the Salmon girl?"

"Susie Salmon."

        

Sickness grew as I watched him. He looked confident. His body language was calm, his expressions showed no remorse. 

Around me was what looked to be the earth? Dug deep into the ground. The walls were dense, mud, supported by handmade wooden pillars. Slow drips of water leaked from the celling. Children's teddy bears and china dolls lined the walls. Pictures and candles, toys and books. Had a child made this?

I ran my fingers over each individual picture. As I moved slowly between each wall I carefully ran my fingers over my mothers face.

** Her first smile, first laugh. Her first step and her first fall. Her first words made me laugh as I                                           remembered. Every memory and every moment I spent with her were flooding back as if we were re-   living every memory.

"I wanted to show you what I built Susie. I built it for all the kids in the neighborhood, as a secret den. You’re the first to see it.”

Ignoring him, I realised what I had just come across, my mother. His face dropped as I starred straight into his eye.

He grabbed me as I scuttled up the ladder, pulling my leg and slipping, hitting my head on the last step. As I got up I slipped again in a puddle from the leaking roof. I couldn’t stand up.

Panicking in and out of conciousness, Mr Harvey bent down next to me. He comforted me. Putting his cold shaking hand on my shoulder he began to whisper. So close I could feel his icy breath shiver down the side of my neck. He wanted to tell me something but I didn’t want to listen. “Abigail” He continued as I tuned in and out.

“Abigail” he faintly whispered again and again until he caught my attention.

He was saying my mothers name until I came too, I then remembered the photograph I had ran my fingers over. I pulled myself off the hard mud ground and ran over to where I had seen the picture.

Turning around I looked at Mr Harvey I didn’t have to question. A feeling of guilt struck through my body like a bolt of lightening.

“YOU”

I screamed, running towards him raging with anger. Suddenly the hideout became claustrophobic. The walls felt as if the were concaving in towards me. The celling seemed to have given in letting the rain pour straight from the sky. As I lifted my arm in aim of Mr Harvey, I froze.

I knew I wasn’t alone. The atmosphere transpired and began peaceful.

“Mum?”

        
           “Susie. Run or he will hurt you.”

As I gazed over I wondered how everything was so wrong. This was all to familiar. Mr Harvey, alone with no one else than his prey. How had he captured Susie the way he had killed me. Why had he killed me, me Abigail. Had that not been enough but to take my Susie as well and to put my family through this again. I was not going to let him.

I knew they could both feel my presence.

I stopped for a moment and from the corner of my eye I spotted a hammer. I slowly reached for it without Mr Harvey seeing.

As I lifted my arm for the second time, power grew within me. Mr Harvey put up his hands and as he did this, I felt as if I was not alone. I took a swing and in the split of a second, silence.

The silence was not creepy, not like before. The silence felt comforting and warm. I looked down to see Mr Harvey lying on the floor in a pool of blood. With the warm silence growing around me I knew then that I had killed the murderer of my mother, Abigail.