Lorraine's Fan Fiction Links

Water For Elephants  Oneshot
that kiwi chick

The tale continues. Rosie the elephant is the focus of this story.  Jacob is caring for her, interpreting her actions and enjoying his 'escape' from the rest home.  Marlena is heavily pregnant.  There is a whisper of a presence of August, a shiver.  Life has become bearable for the central characters.  Rosie is depicted as a contented, playful animal, for which she did not have opportunity to demonstrate in her circus life.

I feel the author could have set the scene in an introductory paragraph, giving the actions a time or place.  The back story could be introduced by simply bringing in a character thought or word.  A day in the life of is a great way to write, given that the reader knows where he or she is.  A look into the baby's forthcoming birth would give further poignancy.  Maybe Jacob would ask Marlene what she thinks will be the baby's name?  By answering Rosie if a girl or Ross if a boy, there we would have the central action of Water for Elephants brought forward.  Jacob's happiness at 90 would be complete.

Shithappenz 

The blog opens with a series of conversations or posts, retrospective in time.  The tiredness and writer's block experienced through the days from the 17th July to 25th July read as natural and true.  There are comments of life as well, such as 'If life gives you lemons, make apple juice.' ...but you need to be smart to work that one out, the writer asserts.

Further down the is poem Falling.  We learn that the blogger is Jacob.  It is written in the first person, giving an interpretation on life's experiences to a third person, you.  Falling is metaphoric, like falling from grace, not falling flat on one's face literally.  No broken bones, but a broken spirit; no kiss it better but a loss of faith in humanity.  With 'no-one waiting at the end of the line' the poet lays bare the consequences of life's choices  and paths.   'It's the way the world works.  Too much power and too many crooks.'  There are no specific behaviours mentioned, the falling is the experience not only for one, but through to all.  The rescue remedy of love after 'we have hit this point', comes in the final lines.  Rhyme is used - a pattern I observe is in the first lines: a a b a b b c c d d.

I like this poem.  For me it speaks of the feeling experienced when we do fall after an event causing emotional pain comes into our lives.  There is no age limit with Falling, and for the exposition alone, this poem could be cherished.  For me, I feel the poet has expressed his feelings and taken them to a new level for others to know.  The poem could be cynical, in that human behaviour loves power and possessions ('crook") but if you do not want to Fall, do not go there.  There is the heartfelt cry of the one left alone, lost, in free fall. The poet emphasises and opens a window of love to enable the sufferer to once again 'stand tall'.

Lacie in Wonderland 
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The First Post Alice
Taking place in the time prior to classes start, Lacie interacts with four males and her mother. In the home, she refuses the offer from her mother, of a sixteenth birthday party as well as most of the prepared breakfast. Carrying her copy of Alice in Wonderland (which she is attempting to read) to the school, she gets herself seated to be interrupted by Blaise, Peter and Shawn. They all comment on the book and give varying explanations, like Lacie is an anagram of Alice, and that the school's forthcoming play is Alice in Wonderland and she would make the star part. Each boy is not encouraged in his offer of friendship. Her sighting of Jack, whom she loves, before entering her classroom, excites her and she would reach out to him, except for his girlfriend's appearance, which puts an immediate stop to her hopes.

I interpret this story, in the abstract, as one of repeated rejections until Lacie's desire is before her, only to have the experience of rejection herself. The time line is short, a wonderland of lost opportunity, dashed hopes and the changes these bring. Using the grin by Blaise as one similar to the Cheshire cat in Alice's story and with the presence of the actual book throughout, Lacie's conversations and desire to keep reading, keep the book as the connecting thread.

The Second Post The Night
Beginning with rhyme, The Night is unfinished. It could become an Alice in Wonderland character, with Lacie coming in for more experiences to relate. The poem could be set out line by line for greater emphasis. It is an intriguing beginning.



Humpty Dumpty Tales  Philosophy
Coke-48-Kenshin

The nursery rhymes, set in their language and style, are used in this well written story, to give the characters other reasons behind the original scene to act as they do.  Humpty Dumpty always falls off the wall.  Jack Be Nimble, who in the rhyme jumps over the candlestick, jumps over Humpty, causing him to fall off again and again, every day.  The events are told by Humpty, and circle back to the next day, repeating the actions and words all over again.  Placing motive behind Humpty Dumpty's actions on and off the wall, describing him with blue eyes, a face, arms, legs and hair, creates the philosophy and reason for the event. Time is shown by the day, each day exactly the same. Humpty's fall, before all the King's Horses and all the King's men, when the clouds stop, brings the story in to the living rhyme, which is the writer's idea. The rhymes have the life, the characters play their prescribed parts. 


It is fun to read about Little Bo Peep and Little Boy Blue, to have Hey Diddle Diddle explained, and to realise Mother Goose must not know.  Looking in to the rhymes for the one day gives the story colour, life and meaning for the reader to enjoy.  We can sympathise with Humpty, another day in the life of; enjoy the energy of Jack, who does not seem to miss his candle stick at all; understand why farming practices goes awry under Little Bo Peep and Little Boy Blue, and look again at a dog and a cat cuddling up, not laughing or running away with the spoon.  It is because we know these Nursery Rhymes that this story is humourous and offers other interpretations for them, as living entities.



Cats and Dogs
by Monsterhigh Rox


Cats and Dogs is highlighted as a Murder Mystery, with a Romantic twist.  It reads as a Romantic story, with a murder to solve.  Colin is a werewolf in human form, Ruth a cat as a human.  The mix of these opposites, placed in London, Ontario, not UK, gives the dialogues tension.  The inner thoughts of the characters as they travel together and stay with Colin's family as the romance develops are well written and give a greater meaning for the reader as these characters find solutions to their problems and the solution to the murder.  Ruth meeting Colin's family has the inner dialogue that is recognisable in similar situations.  The few paragraphs given to the stabbing and solving of the victim's murder are quick and to the point, as is the romantic interplay.

Crime genre follows prescribed patterns, deductively.  So does Romance.  Intertwining the two is not unusual.  We do see relationships develop between the detectives as a part of the teamwork of crime solving.  With this story, there is a need for more cohesion.  The reader loses time sequence and has to assume where the plot is at.  Conversation is used throughout to convey the messages, making the reader hesitate until it is known where and what is going on.  The plot comes with two climaxes, one with Ruth and Colin in bed, the other with the shooting of Colin by the suspect.  Intuition by Colin's aunt gives direction with the romance, the murder and the forthcoming baby.  Time spent by the writer on time, setting development and descriptions,  with a slower pace would be easier on the reader.